So I heard this great Ted talk on the Ted Radio Hour on NPR about procrastination this last weekend. Not only did it make me laugh, but I realized that what was described was, well, me.

invisibilebread.com

As I listened to the broadcast, I realized that I am a habitual procrastinator. I mean take a look at the timestamps of my previous three blog posts:

blog posts timestamps

Every single one was written late at night on the day I intended to post them: 10pm, 9pm, 9:43pm. I knew I needed to post a new blog entry and I waited until just before I headed to bed to write and post them. Each of those posts really only took about 30 minutes to write, so WHY did I wait until the last possible moment? I always found some excuse to not sit down and write: book, game, surfing the web etc.

As I think back I realized that in each case, I knew the basic subject matter I was going to write about well ahead of time. However, I was unsure what exactly I was going to say. My mind flitted from idea to idea in sort of a chaos inspired whirlpool of thoughts. It wasn’t until I was approaching my self-imposed deadline, sat down at the keyboard, and started to type that things solidified.

So I hypothesized:

What if I set the deadline of my next post to be done the day before I post it?

Well as it so happens, it IS the day before, and I am writing this post. In fact it is still early in the afternoon as I write this. This brings forward two questions in my mind:

  • Does this mean that if I pull forward my deadlines, I’ll be able to complete work I set out to do early and completely?

  • What are my motivations for procrastinating?

I believe that the first question depends a great deal on the second. Motivations for procrastinating can, I believe, vary a great deal. As I sit here I am attempting to look at my own motivations in an honest and self-critical way. Can I enumerate my procrastination excuses?

Lets give it a try:

  • It isn’t fun.
  • I don’t know enough.
  • I don’t have a solution to the problem.
  • People will not appreciate it.
  • …?

Here is what I intuitively believe about myself and procrastination: I over index on my insecurities around the task, which in turn make the task arduous and not fun. I started this blog not because it was going to be something I enjoyed, but because I wanted to push myself and tear down some of my insecurity boundaries.

And you know what? It has worked.